k i did it, same error as before, nothing in logs

Start over. Use the guide to set up a vanilla system with the PEQ database. Run it.

If it works, then we change ONE thing at a time until it breaks.

The last thing changed is what is wrong.

This will be much better than everyone guessing at what is changed and what is going on.

Any there are no files at all in the shared directory?

The problem is that MemoryMappedFile doesn't give nearly enough information to troubleshoot this without either changing the code or running it in the debugger. At a minimum you'd need to know the requested size that's passed in and what GetLastError() returns when it fails.

is there any way to find that out?

Yes there are files in the directory up to base data

What is the highest Item ID in-use in your database?

This feels like pulling teeth...

Clean everything out of the logs and shared directories.
Run shared_memory
Post all of the filenames and sizes of all the files in the logs and shared directories.

As far as finding out exactly what is failing, the list of files will help since whatever is missing is probably the problem. The information about the size and type of error can be determined by running the code in the debugger with the proper working directory, using something like procmon, or changing the code to log that information.

You can also try generating each file by itself by passing the appropriate command line parameters to shared memory. They are base_data, items, factions, loot, skill_caps, and spells.