Is there a server list?
 

Is there a list of servers to connect too? I've looked at the front page but it was coming up blank.

If you're referring to something like the WoWEmulator has/had, no, there is not one per se. However, if you login to the official EQEmu login server you will be presented with many servers in-game which in my opinion is much better.

How can I tell if a emulator is good? And how do the emulators compare with the pay servers? I kno with wow they are close, but still have many bugs.

Plus...do these servers work with the all the expansions? Or just the main game?

If you want live go to live, EQEmu servers are not and will never be live.

Most server owners are running a custom world unlike EQ except it uses the zones and NPC's.

See Server Discussion to find out about servers most have threads there.

Well when I ask how close to live I mean more features, skills/spells/classes and such. Like with the expansions does it just use the base game data, or all the things added in expansions is all I mean. Though I will check there.

EQEmu is far more stable than WoWemu and is much easier to get running as well. As far as features go I'd say that the most reliable database we have available is up to Luclin content. Honestly, just try it. Titanium is $20 or so and I think you'll enjoy it.