I guess you didn't really read the HOWTO files
well, you don't have to run everquest.exe, but eqgame.exe. With patchme as suffix:
c:\mypath\eqgame.exe patchme
And no, you don't need any database nor software, just modify eqhost.txt and run "eqgame patchme" from your everquest directory. That's what the software i linked you does, anyway