9080 is the correct port. One thing I would say is to try Changing:
Code:
<!-- Database configuration, replaces db.ini. -->
<database>
<host>localhost</host>
<port>3306</port>
<username>bloodfiend</username>
<password>mypassword</password>
<db>emusp3</db>
</database>
</server>
to
Code:
<!-- Database configuration, replaces db.ini. -->
<database>
<host>localhost</host>
<port>3306</port>
<username>eq</username>
<password>eq</password>
<db>emusp3</db>
</database>
</server>
If that doesn't work then I suspect your are connecting from behind a router. If that is the case have a look at this.
http://www.eqemulator.net/wiki/wikka...akka=RouterFix