1.) Have you disabled the firewall in WindowsXP/2000?
2.) Have you tried the NAT Fix from the wikki? Make sure you use this one. The other one is incorrect/obsolete now.
http://www.eqemulator.net/wiki/wikka...akka=RouterFix
3.) Did you use the DRP installer for making the server or did you do it manually?
4.) Can you connect to any public servers from the list?