Well, the choppy movement is possible due a Dual Core issue with AMD/Windows combinations. As far as not connecting, make sure ports 5999, 7000-7005 are open for connections. These need not apply to the client on the main server, and need not apply to minilogin connections as they are purley lan side stuff and port forwarding is only for WAN -> LAN. Not sure what your problem is exactly.
In your log files, and in the World.exe window, when you try to connect to your server, it should say something about a connection from that computers IP Address. Do you even see your IP address when connecting, its going to be the local address lke 192.168.2.2 or something like that. If you do not see this, then your server is not getting connections coming in and its more than likely due to a botched server config entry. Triple check your eqemu_config.xml file with the one int he guide in my signature, of course using the right one for public/minilogin scenarios.
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