I had this problem when I was running my server under Win XP. I fixed it by reinstalling the OS, disabling all firewalls, reinstalled EQEmu, MySQL, Perl, etc. After that, everything worked fine. One thing I did different, was I setup a dynamic DNS (no-ip.com) name instead of using the IP. Seems to make it easier to get to.
I am now running on Debian Linux and it runs 100% better.
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