1) Are you running the minilogin server? If so, the only account is eqemu/eqemu. If you are pointing to eq.gotfrags.com, then sometimes it takes awhile for the username to show up. Try to reset it after 5 minutes or so.
Also, make sure you type eqgame.exe patchme when you start eq, and not just eqgame patchme
Update
WOOHOO, now a follower instead of a newbie!
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