Based on your setup, you need to play with drivers to get it running smoothly since EQ seems to be cranky with some drivers. However, the issue you're experiencing is common. Also, some of those settings can be harmful in the EQ options. When I used to box 4+ characters on one machine a few years back when memory/gpu power was nonexistant, I turned the draw distance all down to almost nothing except for my main character and never had performance issues. I would at least recommend trying that to see how it affects performance.
I just bought 2gb of corsair's extreme line for $5 on Newegg. I don't even have a computer to it into but memory is never a waste!
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