For starters using a compatibility mode may be causing your problems. Everquest will run perfectly on Windows 7 without compatibility modes. If it doesn't then you probably did something wrong during setup.
Start off by going through this faq:
http://www.eqemulator.net/wiki/wikka.php?wakka=EQEmuFAQ
If that doesn't work try searching the forum as I would be willing to bet you are not the first person to have that issue.