EQEmu is still alive and well. There are alot of servers up and more go online regularly. Yes EQEmu is still being updated. As for running your own server you can make it whatever you want or can dream up with a few constraints of course.
Steam is the only way you can legally obtain Underfoot and have it actually work with the emulator. Once you have the client downloaded from Steam you no longer have to use there software. You can simply copy the client files to another location on your computer and use them from there. Since there are multiple client versions that work with the emulator you might need a client other than Underfoot but that can vary by the whatever server you chose to play on.
You can create accounts for free and use the same client for all. The number of accounts and characters you are able to use at the same time will also vary by the server that you play on.
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