You all suffer from the dreaded NAT bug...
You need to get yourself a dynamic ip name (
www.dyndns.org,
www.noip.com) and set your client machine to override the dns name to your ICS boxes LOCAL ip address rather than external one, and change your ip address in the eqemu configuration to use the domain name (servername.whatever.x) instead of the ip address.
There are plenty of posts on this solution. Look up NAT..
I've tried fixing it in the code, but havent had great success so far... The network code needs some work..