Regarding 0.4.4, don't mess around with it. Go all 0.5.0 and don't look back. You're opening a whole can of worms that will end up turning into a can of whoop ass.
You say you can access eqemu from the same server, but not from the 2nd computer. I'm 75% certain you have not set up the IP resolution correctly. This is the tutorial I used to set mine up when I ran into the problem:
http://forums.eqemu.net/viewtopic.php?t=4177.
Since I'm a networking newbie, I actually learned some stuff from this about how networks work.