You don't need to change anything for /ooc to be server-wide, it is automatically set that way by default.
PC and NPC name colors cannot be changed as far as I know. They are probably set that way by the client depending on what the client sees you as. Though, if you use the /becomenpc command, your name will turn the same color as an NPC/Merchant. But, that command essentially makes you into an NPC, so it isn't something you would want to do regularly.
You can remove most of the "last names" from npcs by editing the last_name field. But, I think there are certain ones that are hard coded like bankers and GMs.
To prevent respawn, the only way I know of is to make the NPCs spawn via a quest script using the quest::spawn2 command. It can be done that way, but it is a little bit more tedious than the normal way of doing it.
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