I feel bad

[cavedude]

Originally Posted by John Adams

I sympathize on a different level. In the 80's, I was a rising "rock star", as were about 20mil other kids in our 20s Music was my life, I lived it, breathed it, ate it, slept it. I barely had a real job because "music was my life" kinda involved. Made some records/CDs, did tons of studio work. End of the 80's, me and my girl decided to get married and have a baby... so that meant real job time.

Since then, the girl and baby never happened. But the real job took over my life - that being SysAdmin of computer networks, turning into development and testing. Now, all I do is sit at a computer sometimes 12 hours a day just doing my "job" (last 18 years), and outside of work, 4+ more hours screwing with internet, forums, websites, or gaming.

I am 44 years old next week. Talk about a reality check.

/poor me!!

Wow, you and I have a lot in common. I'm currently in the process of getting accustomed to a comfy new job in Apple's NY satellite office and while my career has been providing for me very well, everyday I consider telling Apple to bugger off, take a 99% pay cut, form a band, and start touring again. I feel like something is missing from my life and that's it. Like you, I know it's not realistic, especially with a wife asking me to not think that way. (Though ironically, her father IS a professional musician.) Maybe one day I'll snap and go ahead with that. So, if I disappear one day, this is why

[Docs]

I've been starting to spend time doing the things i most want to do.

It really sucks not being able to find the time to do any of it. I have to force my nights to spend 10 mins at surfing even the internet.

[Docs]

I've been thinking about it pretty heavy. I think come winter this year, i might head back to school. Well catchup at home study.

I am going to refresh my programming skills then return to where i left off, at C.

yes its old school, but i enjoyed it so much then it eats away at me every week that passes.

I guess you can never be too old to learn, can you?

I hope i also dont disappoint myself and walk away from it.