If your computer is a bit older, I am guessing it isn't running on a Dual or Quad Core CPU? If it is, then there are certain fixes you might want to try.
What server are you trying to connect to each time, or have you tried multiple? I would suggest trying at least a few to make sure that it isn't just a problem with the server you are trying. My server is Storm Haven and it normally doesn't have any connection issues that I am aware of. Also, you can try any of the preferred servers. Especially if their player numbers on the list aren't showing a large amount at the time. Anything 50 or less should have little chance of it being a server issue causing you to not connect.
You might want to search the SOE forums for your videocard and see if they recommend certain drivers. You might also want to make sure you have DirectX 9c (I think c is the latest before 10), and up-to-date video card drivers if you can't find any fixes on the SOE forums.
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