I don't have any specific settings that work in all scenarios, I just know people have corrected similar issues by playing with both resolutions on your desktop and in EQ. Maybe try 800X600 in both and see if that works. If that still doesn't work, then it probably isn't a resolution issue. I think normally the resolution thing will cause EQ to crash completely out. Normally having trouble connecting to servers is either a dual core issue or an issue with your version of EQ. If you are not running EQ Titanium, you will not be able to connect to all servers. It has to be a fresh install straight from the discs without any patching at all. Also, Secrets of Faydwer will work on a few servers including PEQ and Storm Haven if you have that instead of Titanium.
Maybe describing your actual symptoms in better detail will help us figure it out. You get logged into the server select screen, then select a server and try to connect to it and the screen goes black and eventually goes back to the Login Screen? If that isn't what happens, please explain exactly what does and any error messages you get.
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