First you need to know their external IP and they need to know yours.
under cmd
Code:
cd \mysql\bin
mysql -u root mysql
grant all privileges on *.* to theirusername@theirexternalip identified by 'password' with grant option;
The username and password does not matter it does not have to match their mysql username and password but they do have to use it when going into Mangoos item editor.
Once you have granted that person privilges they go into item editor and type in
Code:
DatabaseName = The name of your db
DatabaseUser = the username you gave them
DatabasePass = the password you gave them
DatabaseHost = your external IP
EQDirectory = C:\Program Files\Sony\EverQuest Trilogy (or wherever you EverQuest directory is located)
This is how I did it and I can access my friends database who lives in Texas while I live in Louisiana.