I had this exact same problem for a few days. Like you, I'm familiar with networking techniques and port forwarding etc, so I knew that this wasn't the cause of my 1017's or '0 of 0 expansions'. I had all ports forwarded correctly and even tried dropping my windows firewall completely and placing the IP of my server machine in the router's DMZ.
Sorry to say this here, but I decided the login server was the problem and opted to install and try EQEMuLS from eqemu.devnoob.com.
It's a little more lightweight than the EQEMULogin Server (no client connection info displayed in console etc) and whilst I am good at networking, database admin is not my strength :P The 'How to' on the support forum is a little sketchy but with a little trial-and-error I had my server up and working with friends connecting externally in about an hour.
NB This worked straight off the bat, without changing any of my firewall or router settings.
EDIT It also reports 25 of 25 expansions too!
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