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 Found it, my router was the problem.
 A month or so ago I changed from the router I was using to a pfSense firewall and i never added a redirect for the subdomain I had put in the eqemu_config.xml file for the mailserver and chatserver.
 
 I put the local IP in the config, restarted the server and it all starts. That was a completely non-intuitive error.
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