EQEmu is quite bandwidth intensive, so depending on your connection speed, your friends may be going LD because you just don't have the bandwidth.
I've heard that setting a datarate of 10 will cause problems for other players.
Other thoughts.. High DB activity can cause LD's..
WRT zone crashes.. You can always do what I do and start the zone.exe manually in a "command" window such that if it crashes, you can copy/paste the output into the Bugs forum and let them know what you were doing at the time. If you don't start it in a command window, the zone.exe window will just close and you wont see the output.
-Auldar
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