Draupner
Get rich. Winning the lottery might be something to look into. Everyone loves rich people, except hippies, but nobody likes hippies anyway.
boucoune
Duct tape is cheap, and fake medical licenses so you can get chloroform aren't that hard to get ahold of.
KhaN
Add salt, boil for ten minutes and eat with ketchup.
rizzen04
Except not fat!
RexChaos
Dr. Phil is actually Satan's avatar on earth. You'll need plenty of holy water and a cross to defeat him.
Spike
Long distance relationships are bound to fail. They never work.
My recommendation is 25 condoms and that you break up with her once the condoms are out.
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