Well project EQ is the most accurate
http://www.projecteq.net/
Angelox has a database that is very nice as well... combo of some plus his own work... if you find a post by him, hes got the link in his sig.
To update to the newest EQEMU you need to source one of those databases, then run the required SQL for the updates for your server... stick maps for aggro... thats all in the Wiki.
The required sql is also in the changelog (downloaded with binaries)
Or... check GeorgeS's site, hes got a list of all the req. sql.
Theres pleanty of info on setting a server up, check the wiki tho...
http://www.eqemulator.net/wiki/wikka.php?wakka=HomePage
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